Yes Parents Get Sad When Kids Leave For College
Do Parents Get Sad When You Leave For College?
It’s normal for parents to feel sad when their children leave for college. After all, they’ve been raising them for 18 years or more, and they’re suddenly gone. It can be hard to adjust to having an empty nest, but it’s important to remember that your children are young adults now and capable of taking care of themselves.
Just as college is a time of growth and independence for students, it can also be a time of growth and independence for parents. It’s an opportunity for parents to focus on their own lives and relationships without the constant demands of parenting.
We know it feels strange not being the chauffeur to the study groups or sporting events. Now that part of your life has stopped, its time for you to mix things up and be an adult without feeling guilty.
So while it’s perfectly normal for parents to feel sad when their children leave home, it’s also an opportunity for you to embrace a new phase in your life.
Not Feeling Needed
It’s a big moment when kids go off to college. On the one hand, as a parent, you are excited and proud of your child’s accomplishments. But on the other hand, they may feel a bit unneeded and unwanted.
It’s normal for parents to feel this way. After all their kids have been a central part of their life for years. And now that child is off on their own, pursuing their dreams. It can be challenging for parents to let go and trust that their child will be okay without them.
But it’s important to remember that this is a natural and very important part of growing up. Kids need to learn how to navigate the world on their own. Kids also need to know that their parents love and support them and know that their parents know they are ready to tackle the world.
Your New Role
When your student goes off to school, your new role as an advisor starts. You are through with the parenting phase, so you can no longer raise your child that is grown.
You cannot ground them or stop them from growing up, but you can advise them. An Advisor is an important role but requires the parent to listen and be open. You may not agree with or like some of the things you hear, but your child feels comfortable communicating with you about what is on their mind.
Being judgemental can make your student clam up and not talk.
Understand we cannot resolve every issue or have a suggestion. Sometimes we are merely a sounding board and a safe place for our kids to vent.
As an advisor, sometimes your job is to simply listen to your student.
Not all advice will be taken, but take pride in knowing you gave your two cents. So don’t get butt hurt if it does not go the way you like.
The new role does not mean you stop parenting but merely expands the relationship with your child. It’s important to remember that your student is now an adult and is capable of making their own decisions.
Stay connected and involved in their life, but also give them the space to grow and learn on their own.
Get Support
There are many resources available to help you through these tough times. Here are a few ways to cope with these feelings:
- Talk to other parents or friends who are going through the same thing. Knowing that you’re not alone in how you’re feeling can be helpful.
- One of the best things you can do for yourself is to find a support group. Many groups available online and in person can offer emotional support. These groups can provide a safe space to share your feelings and connect with other parents going through the same thing.
- Find a new hobby or activity that you can get into. Doing something for yourself can help take your mind off your children being away at college.
- There are also many books and articles available on the topic of parenting during the college years. Reading about other people’s experiences can help you feel less alone and give you some ideas for dealing with your own emotions.
- Many colleges have programs and services specifically designed for parents of students. These programs can provide valuable information and support during this time of transition.
- Get involved with your child’s life at college. Attend online conferences, send care packages, or visit them on campus occasionally. Keep your student up-to-date on the issues you read about on campus. Just because they’re growing up doesn’t mean you have to be out of their life completely.
- The best source of support is often simply staying in close contact with your child. Talking on the phone or video call can help them feel connected to home and remind them that you’re there for them no matter what.
- Understand your student is transitioning in life meeting new people and experiencing the world. So, don’t get emotional if they have little time to talk frequently. Don’t let that bother you.
The What If’s
I’m so worried about my student in college. I keep thinking about all of the what if’s. What if my student don’t like their roommate? What if my student gets homesick? What if my student can’t handle the workload? Why did student go to college across the country?
Most parents say. I know I need to trust my student, but it’s hard when I see all the things that could go wrong. I want to help him, but I don’t want to hover.
Over the last 18 years, you have been grooming this young adult to be the person they are becoming. Every difficulty and obstacle they have faced and overcome and every pointer and lesson you have instilled in them was to get them to this very point.
First of all, try to accept that your student is an adult now and capable of taking care of themselves.
Second, have faith in your student’s ability to make good decisions and handle whatever comes their way.
Third, trust the college they’ve chosen is a good fit for them and will help them grow into the person they want to be.
Fourth, remind them (and yourself!) that everyone’s college experience is different and there is no one “right” way to do things. They’re on the right track as long as they’re putting in the effort and working toward their goals.
Fifth, you have a great relationship with your student, and they are open to talking to you if they have a problem or issue.
Sixth, you know your child. If you talk to them and things seem a bit off or not right you have every right to check your child. Even if that means doing wellness checks through the university, new friends, or taking a trip to see your child.
Conclusion
To feel that you are not needed at this critical junction in your young adult’s life is the ultimate sign that you have been an awesome parent and did a fantastic job in preparing them for what life will bring. So embrace your new role and prepare for the next milestones that life will bring.
